Saturday, June 20, 2009

LOVE ACTUALLY…



WAS (once upon a time, circa 1990s) asking the (yet-to-be-) spouse, “Have you taken the class-notes properly?”
(Both of us studied English Honours, so being together in Honours classes was not the problem, but I had Philosophy as a ‘Pass’ subject, while he had ‘History’, and he would shrug his shoulders at my anxious query after the very few History classes he actually attended without me, and state philosophically that ‘History’ was past, so it was better to forget about it.)

IS (now, circa 2009) asking the spouse (-since-decades), “Have you taken your cholesterol medicines properly?" (I have a job where I leave the home early, and he has a job where he comes back very late, so marital communication, and romantic conversation, is chiefly via a series of questions over the phone - asked anxiously, answered with philosophical calmness and assurance).

As the great philosophers said, "The more things change, the more they remain the same". Class-notes, or cholesterol, I seem to have been in worrying-Mother-mode for the past (nearly) two decades. Pscho-analyse that, if you will.

Love, actually = worry! (Thank God, I don't chew my nails when I am worried, or I would not have been able to write this post.)

OUCH!

34 comments:

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

ha! The eternal struggle a lot of us women face of whether to be a wife or a mother to our spouses!! Nicely put!

Mystic Margarita said...

So true. In my case, specially the cholesterol medicine bit. And high BP med, too. Such is life!

Swaram said...

Well put. Life is like that :)

Swaram said...

U express so well in so few a words. I really loved this post :P

PURN!MA said...

I agree with Swaram ji there. you choose few words, simple words and weave them intricately! :)

Lovely post! *can't comment much- Single status* :D

Hip Grandma said...

i suggest that you read my post mother hen linked in the second last post of mine and you'd agree that we women are the same,whatever the age.

sujata said...

Exactly the same sentiments..for me love is worrying and then topping it up with feeding. Such a mother hen!! And then I complain the MIL competes with me...I think its always been the opposite..

Pradip Biswas said...

This is a side effect of love. There are so many side effects of affection of love. To me love is a ever lasting fever.

Pradip Biswas said...

Pls correct affection as infection.

Aparna said...

I worry too much about my own health and not enough about him. Oh god, such a complete antithesis to a sati savitri bharatiya nari.I think tomorrow I will turn into a new leaf and start worrying about his health Thats love you said? But where has all the romance gone?

Koel said...

simple and sweet!!!

indyeahforever said...

:D single status*
so cant say much but yeah why do I already see glimpses of this?:))

*sigh*and what of those paperback romances that I have kept with such care?:))
no?no sweeping me off my feet and giving me my heart's desire?;)


only cholesterol medicines and other such?

I will take it :))
sounds like the real deal to me:)))))

(((hugs)))

SGD said...

Hilariously expressed! And so very true!

Meira said...

haha..so true. I'm currently somewhere between the two stages...the 'heat-your-dinner-yourself' married-for-sometime stage :)
Nice blog

ZiLliOnBiG said...

very true. Now i understand why my wife worries so much.

Thanks:))

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@Roshni,
"Eternal' is the right word in my case at least.

@MysticM,
Oh, the BP-med is there too, but I omitted that for the sake of alliteration and brevity.

@Swaram,
;), thanks!

@Purnima,
Enjoy being a singleton as long as you can...

@Hip Grandma,
Will do...any corroboration helps my martyrdom.

@Sujata,
My daughters even call me 'my fat hen'.

@Pradipda,
Too much affection is an infection.

@Aparna and Indyeah,
Romance has been washed down with pills and flushed out with flaxseeds (of cholesterol-lowering fame).

@Koel and SGD,
Thanks!

@Meira,
thanks for visiting. Enjoy the transition.

@Zillionbig,
Tell me, do you feel she is nagging? Or do you sincerely appreciate her concern?

Vivek Patwardhan said...

Very well expressed. Resonates with me and there is joy in that feeling. Thank you very much.

I always feel that lovers have a pattern of 'transactions'. And they enjoy it! So enjoy the game!!

Vivek

manju said...

So very true! And judging by the comments here- universally true!

Great post!

Jyothi said...

Ha ha.....

Can't identify with "was"....he is 6 years older to me.

Can't identify with "is"....I am not too good at remembering things. Does keeping reminders in mobile count?

Priya said...

hehehehhe...too good...

Lazyani said...

Almost a reflection of the situation at my home. But, I guess that I do my bit of worrying too.

Sumandebray said...

hmm... every word doesn't have to spoken to be heard!!!
liked reading through as usual.

Pinku said...

add:

did you take your phone?

you have enough money in your wallet?

Did you take your lunch?

Did you eat your lunch?

etc, etc.

and thats me.

guess some of us are just born this way.

Double-Dolphin said...

You've been tagged! Visit

http://double-dolphin.blogspot.com/2009/06/big-d-is-back.html

for details!

AMIT said...

Its True but hurts for those u r in love.

Lingerie Bookmark

P.N. Subramanian said...

Life is like that
You will find my Hindi blog interesting: http://mallar.wordpress.com
where I have dwelt upon the Bengali settlement in Amber (Jaipur)

P.N. Subramanian said...

Life is like that.
You will find my Hindi blog interesting: http://mallar.wordpress.com
where I have dwelt upon the Bengali settlement in Amber (Jaipur)

lopamudra said...

The spouse cares as much if not more...they can rarely/seldom express their concern and emotions.Love is actually to understand his inability to express what he feels.Its easier said than done!!

Lilly said...

Great post and spot on! So spot on!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@Vivek
And there are lots of debits and credits as well.

@Manju,
Universal and unifying truth.

@Jyothi,
just you wait. Phone reminders are OK, even I rely totally on them.

@ Priya,
Thanks!

@Lazyani and Suman,
That's the male point of view.

@Pinku,
Your list is mine, too! Only the spouse gets his lunch at the office lunch room.

@Double-D,
Thanks for the tag. Will take it up in my other blog, if that's OK.

@Amit,
Ouch!

@PNS,
Thanks.Will do.

@Lopa,
Why are you playing the devil's advocate?

@Lilly,
Thanks.

Jaquanda Rae said...

Awwwwwwww, sweet. I like! Thanks for being a faithful follower even when I don't deserve it girl!

Guess what? My big sis has started her own blog! I'm a proud younger mother!

Babli said...

I liked this post. You have expressed very beautifully and in a very simple way the true fact of life.

Pesto Sauce said...

Somethings in life never change...but I guess love & attachment are eternal

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@ Jaquanda,
Send me the URL, please. Gotta check that blog.

@Babli,
Thanks.

@PestoSauce,
Eternally painful!