Saturday, August 8, 2009

‘AM I LIKE THIS ONLY?’

The other day my daughters were playing together at home (harmoniouslywhich is a pretty rare occasion). Apart from ‘teacher-teacher’, one of their favourite role-plays is ‘mother-offspring’, with the elder Lil Cat enacting the ‘mother’ and the younger Copy Kitten being the impossibly obedient ‘daughter’.

Busy as I was in doing housework (you know, the usual stuff like folding washed clothes, dusting bookshelves, straightening the bedcover for the umpteenth time, etc,etc), one snatch of their dialogue was repeated so often that it caught my attention.

Taratari, taratari, deri hoye jabey” (Hurry, hurry, you’ll be late). The Lil Cat would pretend to hold a glass of milk in front of the Copy Kitten and say this. When the Copy Kitten finished gulping down this imaginary glass of milk, the Lil Cat would pretend to button-up an imaginary school uniform, all the while repeating this sentence. Then she would give a hurried kiss to her pretend-daughter and, giving her a small push at her back, say again the same thing, while waving good-bye as the Copy-Kitten rushed to pick up her pretend-schoolbag and ran to catch her pretend-bus.

Then, within a few seconds, she would be back again from her pretend-school. And her pretend-mom, the Lil Cat, would start rushing and fussing all over again, undressing her sister, hurriedly feeding her some pretend-lunch and then urging her to go to sleep. All the while repeating like a mantra, “Taratari, taratari, deri hoye jabey” (Hurry, hurry, you’ll be late).

Feeling rather indignant, I asked them why they were hurrying through their game. In an exasperated way, they said, But Ma, this is what you keep saying to us.”

What? And what about the time when I read all those endless books with you and make you sit on the kitchen counter when we all bake cakes and cook noodles and stuff?” I accused, feeling hurt and absolutely horrified at this image of myself as a hurrying harridan, forever pushing my children from one task to another - wake up, get ready, have breakfast, go to school, have lunch, have nap, do homework/study, gulp down milk, go to play, have dinner, go to sleep.

Oh, but that is only on Sundays and holidays. And we are playing Monday to Friday mummy-mummy now,” and they shooed me away.

So, am I like this only? Caught in a fast forward loop throughout the week, giving no time to stand and stare to either myself or my family. And then, pushing the pause button only on ‘Sundays and holidays’, to rest, relax and revel in the joys of family-life? Time to chill?

26 comments:

SJ said...

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH :D

Things like this wanna make me want to have kids!!! So funny!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@ SJ,
Decide in haste, repent in leisure (not that you will have any, post-kids!)

Jyothi said...

I am like this only too....no worries....Now my kids ask me the infamous question that is any mother's nightmare...'What's your problem, Amma?'....Its a part of the game....Play on....

Pradip Biswas said...

Children very often simulate the things which they do not like. Like I in my Chhelebela acted like my mom saying" Not by your left hand, use the right hand. doing things by Left hand that is a bad practice" the painful process of making a left armer a right armer. Posiibly your children may not like to be hurried up but that is to be done because we live in a very fast moving life.

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@Jyothi,
I can empathise totally.

@Pradipda,
thanks for understanding.

sujata said...

I hurry my kids all the time, I just freak out if there is a possibility of missing the school bus and I think I must look crazy to them on weekdays, esp after reading this post I think I need to chill before they come and actually say the chill pill line to me, Actually my mom was like this and I hated it about her, and now I am exactly like that and most probably I am bringing up kids who will be as harried!!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@ Sujata,

The only consolation is that maybe my daughters will turn into the same madly-rushing mums in their time.

Aparna said...

Oh I am like this only. Even on weekends.
My poor first born suffers more as she is naturally a late latif type and also because she is in 9th now and hence always has to hurry to some coaching class or the other.
Taratari koro is my mantra.

manju said...

Don't feel bad, Sucharita! All mothers have to be like this.

I don't think kids would be on time for anything otherwise!

Nona said...

:) Not to worry!

indyeahforever said...

:)) made me think of my mom ....

and then the thought that this will be me too a few years down the line:D

oh well! harridan or not the only consolation like you said is that they too will be the madly -rushing moms:D:D

Sumandebray said...

hmmm....
always in a hurry mom.. eh! but everything said and done ... "we are like this only" our children are "like this only" and we like it that way!

Mina Jade said...

Very sweet story!
I don't think I could handle children of my own, yet others's children are fun for me!

Vivek Patwardhan said...

Children observe a lot of things and are very perceptive. Your two little ones are more than that; they are also very intelligent!

Enjoyed reading this, as a parent I relived a similar experience.

Vivek

Babli said...

Very nice and sweet post.Nowadays children are very very intelligent and they catch the things very fast.Gone our days when he hardly knew anything but now the children are very much interested to know everything.

Meira said...

my mom was smart. She sent me to a hostel. There the duty was of the warden's (and the entourage of friends and roommates!!) Not that it helped too much. getting late has become a habit by now :D
But I'l come talk to you about this when I have kids of my own (shudder):P

Swati said...

You are not like this ..life has become like this ..we have to hurry up all the time ..how do we expect kids to understand

Amit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amit said...

Thank God for these bratty kids...at least they preserve their innocence, not being cynics like us..

JD said...

lol :-) that was really cute.
that's every mothers morning mantra..

nsiyer said...

Good one. It is the reality in all Indian homes as far as mothers are concerned.

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Dear All,

I am currently reading CONFESSIONS OF A BAD MOTHER by this wonderfully deficient but resilient mother/writer called STEPHANIE CALMAN, and she has boosted my self-esteem by leaps and bounds, as have all your comments. I AM NOT ALONE!!! YAYYY!!!

Suchismita said...

Hey Sucharita, You are definitely not alone. Here evn my neighbours say that they miss my "youll miss the bus" on weekends! what do you say to that???!! But then, a mom's got to do what a mom's got to do!!

Pinku said...

Ur post made me pause and wonder...its not just about being a mom...I think the times are such..

and yeah I dont remember having a very harried mom...so my take on life is that nothing less than a calamity should be treated as a calamity.

Maybe u should relax...once in a while..even on weekdays...its a completely new high!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@Suchismita,
thanks for being on the same boat.

@Pinku,
No thanks for not being on the same boat. Thanks for the advice though.

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@Suchismita,
thanks for being on the same boat.

@Pinku,
No thanks for not being on the same boat. Thanks for the advice though.