Thursday, April 29, 2010

ERROR? RIGHT ON!

My maid, who lives with us, often mispronounces English words. With the unexpected effect of hitting the nail on the head!

For instance, she says "China" instead of "channel" (her favourite TV 'China' being STAR PLUS, with its plethora of primetime tearjerking soaps). Maybe she's just being prophetic, CHANNELS in India are about the only thing that are not being MADE IN CHINA at the moment.

She also says "Anyplane" instead of "aeroplane". Again, it is an insightful comment on the aviation sector, especially since any number of airlines are now fighting it out for their piece of the sky.

But the one I just love is "TOPIC JAM" instead of "TRAFFIC JAM". It is almost poetic in its possibilities. Check this out:

Elder daughter sitting in front of a pile of books right before exams, wondering where to begin. TOPIC JAM.

Packed Staffroom at our college. Teachers talking in loud voices across the room at cross-purposes, everybody unable to hear anybody else. TOPIC JAM.

Fourth lecture after recess. Poor students yawning away at my Communications class, head already full of Accounts and Economics and Maths. TOPIC JAM.

Me racking my brains, stumped and struggling to come up with new names/lines for pens/financial services/just-about-anything for clients who seem to be insufferingly insatiable. TOPIC JAM.

Newspapers refusing to budge beyond the misadventures and misdemeanours and misappropriations of Lalit Modi, even though the IPL is history. TOPIC JAM.

Me gazing at "still working"/"loading"/"refreshing" monitor, cursing slow Internet traffic speed. TOPIC JAM.

Lovely phrase, is it not?

26 comments:

Swaram said...

Ha ha ha .. u r so funny and hv found a perfect maid too :P
@ home, we find milk, veggies and all that in the bridge )

Nona said...

Me back from a vacation and catching up! TOPIC JAM!

Aparna said...

My maid calls it Trophic Jam. As in Catastrophic. That is pretty full of possibilities too.
Incidentally, this summer I would love to take anydamnplane to China to escape the topic jam and heat of Mumbai.

magiceye said...

:) so topical!

I'm Nu said...

me too was away from log world and now catching up on all the blogs that I follow :P TOPIC JAM for me too !

funny yet logical post :)

sujata said...

haahaa that was hilarious..most of the maids in kolkatta that I came across called tomatoes as tomatom..and i kept making them say it again and again

Kavi said...

LOL !!!

That was lovely ! Topic Jam ! Indeed !!!

rajk said...

Wow! That was hilarious!

Arundhati said...

:) good one

Thought I had followed you, just realised I haven't. I'm going to do it now

Shaswati said...

excellent! I had a servant who used to say similar kind of stuff like - drum room for drawing room. Best was one young driver I had who used to "mausam"for motion! :)

Jyothi said...

Hmm..blogs are TOPIC JAMS too.

Santanu Sinha Chaudhuri said...

But you don't seem to face any topic jam for your blog posts. Very interesting once again.

Tomz said...

nice post..and i don't know what comment should be posted on which element of this post!..whether it should be about English mispronunciation, or funny servants..look TOPIC JAM! :)

0802RicoLisi said...

Nice job!.................................................................

Onkar said...

Very funny indeed.

SUFFIX said...

Our maid interchanges "kitchen and chicken" :)

Pinku said...

wow!!

we had a guy working at our place....he understood that anything in english that ended with ing was present tense...

so when we asked what happened to the tea one day....he said, just a minute, chamching the chai.....as in stirring in the sugar.

Double-Dolphin said...

Too good!!!

Swati said...

hahaha..loved topic jam..today's topic jam in all the chinas will be Kasab :)

PabloDuda0若愛 said...

人生的價值以及他的快樂,都在於他有能力看重自己的生存 ..................................................

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Perfect! I think the Chinese dude before me agrees too!! :P

Jaquanda Rae said...

it is indeed, love. I really love this one. Thanks for your thoughts on that tricky subject. xoxoxoxo.

Tamanna Mishra said...

Awesome phrase I say :D

Koel said...

great post ...."Topic Jam" all across, all the time - really !!!

radha said...

writers block - TOPIC JAM

lady said...

This is classic Sumi-Humour! My maid calls Westside "website"... atleast even that means something! :)