Friday, May 15, 2009

LESSONS IN BELLY-GERENCE

  • Every summer vacation, I re-distribute my weight. No, I do not lose any weight – far from it. But running after my daughters, doing all the housework in the absence of the maid (who also goes for a forty-day sabbatical), feasting on mangoes and getting up late has a strange effect on my anatomy.

    I lose weight around my face and arms. And this reluctant-to-leave-me weight settles around my already rotund stomach. Which gives rise to various heavily-loaded situations and learning experiences:

  • The salesgirl from ‘Dermawear’ sees me shopping at Big Bazaar and pounces. “Why don’t you buy one of our abdominal belts?” Sucker that I am, I end up buying one, lured by promises of ‘reduction of waistline by at least two inches’. (A drop in the ocean, but beggars can’t be choosers. Or losers, in this case.)
    On wearing this new-fangled contraption on another mall-sojourn, my tummy looks a tad tighter to begin with, but I end up all sweaty, hot and bothered because it clings in the heat. And the belt ends up all rolled-up like a sock around my waist. And my jeans keeps slipping down because of the sock-belt. Not an experience I’d care to repeat, initially-tighter-tummy notwithstanding.
  • The Li’l Cat, my elder daughter, is making sentences from adjectives. I advise her that it is better to write a sentence where the meaning of the adjective becomes clear. For instance, instead of writing “Tom is lazy”, it makes more sense to write, “Tom is lazy and he never helps his mother with the housework” (hint, hint). After following my advice for a few adjectives, she comes across the word “FAT” and writes, “My mother is fat”, claiming that the sentence is self-explanatory.
  • The Copy-kitten, my younger daughter, is drawing shapes. After a few shaky squares and careful circles, she draws a huge oblong blob, taking up almost the whole of a page, smiles with a sense of achievement, and proudly says, “Eta holo mamma petu” (This is mummy’s tummy).

    LESSONS LEARNT:
    Salesgirls encourage self-delusion.
    Family brings about self-awareness
    .

    Now that I’ve learnt my lessons, it would nice if the belly would lessen a little.

19 comments:

Priya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Swaram said...

OMG! Ur girl's statements r so interesting; loved ur inferences :P

Pradip Biswas said...

Sucharita
I am currently making an experiment with application of Body clock for reducing weight. The scope of the experiment is partial. This is to optmize certain intake of food habits and finally forgetting them and compelling the persons to respond to their body clock signal for an excercise. My weight is 80 kilos with so much hard work and only two time food and No sugar or any sweets except fruits. This is because of Hormone disbalance and hereditory pattern and this can not be helped. Thank god even at 56 years age I do not have any Hypertension or Glycemia till date. So if your overweight is due to some hormonal imbalance do not worry for overweight but check thyroid in blood. After I complete my experiment I shall let you know innext week provided I do get a chance to get a computer and Internet connection.

Double-Dolphin said...

I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem - Savage Garden - Affirmation

SGD said...

Tomar meye duto boddo sweet!!!

nsiyer said...

Hilarious! Terrific sense of humour.

Priya said...

hehehe "Eta holo mamma petu"....sweeet...

but yes, a similar experience, more disappointing and humiliating. At Spencer's: i was looking for some lip-balm, couldn't get one right in the front and therefore called this salesgirl, comes running, gives me the lip balm and then says, "acha madam, (holds an ointment tube), madam eta baajare notun eseche, apni ei thigh reducing ointment ta try kore dekhun na" :O:O

Lazyani said...

For a 'Somobyathi' with you in the weight segment, I take refuge in Shakespeare -- ' Beware of the lean and the Hungry.'

I would love to meet the little ones one day.

Indyeah said...

awww sho sho cute:))started out with a laugh and your lil daughter made me smile gently:))

but yeah still laughing to be honest!:D:D
(((hugs))for your lil gurl:))

magiceye said...

lol that was hilarious!!

Little Girl Lost said...

ROFL!!!!
totally hilarious...
your girls are chips of the old block. :D
i'm glad they are there to keep you grounded in self-awareness. :D

Sayani said...

Hey you have been tagged and awarded so check out :)

keep well
regards
sayani

sukku said...

I guess the only way to lose weight is...


to tape the mouth....any other contraption...is just a gimmick...

Well I always believe in this rule...God has given us a body...and we have no other choice but to love it and accept it...coz...we don't have a choice...either you love it...or ...

Sucharita Sarkar said...

@ Swaram,
not just interesting, but humiliating!

@ Pradipda,
Please keep updated re results of experiments.

@ Double-D,

Low self-esteem? Not really! Too much of self (esteem included), more likely.

@ SGD,

Mishti - tauk?

@ NSIyer,

Laughter mixed with ruefulness!

@ Priya,

That is why I could immediately identify with your post.

@Lazyani,

Shakespeare is such a comfort!

@ Indyeah, little girl lost, magiceye,

Go ahead, laugh at my expense!!

@ Sayani,

Thanks a ton!!! Am going over right away!!

@ Sukku,

I do love my body, only I wish there was not so much of it to love.

Pinku said...

wow!!!

funtastic family u have....with them around why would u need to learn lessons anywhere??

:)

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Hi Pinku,

They constantly teach me a lot of unpleasant facts about myself.

Jaquanda Rae said...

awwww, we have some things in common.i don't have 2 lil cats yet but ppl keep asking me if i'm pregnant and giving me the thumbs up. i'm used to it now, only slightly embarrassed. my grandma loves to say that I am just big and hellehbah (helluva, which translates to huge in j'can)...sighhh....these under the skin comments really are funnier when typed, lol.

i had a girdle once, wore it to a swim meet. i was a very uncool 17 when the ppl around me noticed it when i raised my arms in cheer.

set a drift on memory's bliss (?)You're one helluva writer...the glare of honesty becomes funny stuff!

Anorak said...

innocence is any day better than intellience ... the post was a gust of fresh air, though the credit goes to ur two little daughters...:).loved it....keep walking!!!

Nona said...

Very very funny and interesting post. Please continue in your efforts towards weight reduction. Even if you fail, you will get up and laugh at it. At the same time, you will provide us with a humorous take on this. :)